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Pink's Stupid Girls video wins top-pop award from MTV

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Friday, September 1, 2006 found at journalnow.com

Did you watch the awards ceremony?

NEW YORK

Where are Eminem and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog when you need them?

 

Despite Shakira's ever-gyrating hips, Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack" and the obscured image of a naked midget, last night's MTV Video Music Awards had about as much spontaneity as an episode of Cribs.

"You didn't bring the thunder. You didn't bring anything," host Jack Black, looking at himself in his dressing-room mirror, said during one skit, unintentionally summing up the evening.

Pink's parody of bubble-headed pop tarts, "Stupid Girls," won for best pop video; Beyonce took home a trophy for her booty-shaking "Check On It"; British crooner James Blunt won best male video for his "Beautiful"; and Fall Out Boy won the viewer's choice award for their clip "Dance, Dance."

But nobody but a video choreographer's mother watches this show for the awards. Fans watch for the eye-popping moments: FCC-flaunting skits, nearly naked starlets, foul-mouthed rockers and rappers, and those embarrassingly bad dance numbers. They do not watch for lectures from former Vice President Al Gore on global warming. When does the phrase "here's a photo of a glacier melting" ever fit into an awards show?

Somewhere along the way, the MTV Awards seemed to have morphed into the Grammys. Christina Aguilera, who previously shocked our senses as the dirty Xtina, looked downright classy as she performed a low-key ballad. And there were no malfunctions whatsoever during Timberlake's perfunctory start of the show.

"This show has been lame farts for the past 20 years," Black said before he took the stage last night for his opening sketch. "And I'm going to light the match!" Instead, Black continued a trend. He had a promising bit that poked fun at the show's increasingly staid reputation. Painting himself as the man to inject life back into the VMAs, he took to the stage in a moonman outfit - which caught fire.

But Black's shtick quickly got old. Even Lil' Kim, who once appeared at the VMAs wearing a pasty on one breast, failed to get the party started. Recently released from prison after serving time for perjury, she stripped off an orange jail suit to reveal ... something that resembled a funky business suit. Hillary Clinton has worn more revealing outfits.

Though the MTV Awards have never lacked star power - last year, Diddy was the host and stars ranging from Eva Longoria to Jessica Simpson and hubby Nick Lachey squeezed themselves into the spotlight - that trademark water-cooler MTV moment hasn't materialized recently (like Eminem punching out a puppet).

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